North End Studios Relocates

As many of you are no doubt aware, the eclectic group of artists at North End Studios were evicted from their nine-story technicolor fantasy world in March of this year. The evictor was not the money-sucking slumlord from whom the building was being rented (Boydell Group), but rather to a diabolical paintball company who seems to have the unlikely idea that privileged white people from the suburbs want to travel to one of the worst areas of the city to get shot at. But if that doesn’t work out (it won’t), they can always use the building to grow drugs.

The first thing on the agenda for the unscrewed war vets who bought the place was to illegally break into and enter the private, locked studios and look through the artists’ things, without any of the renters’ knowledge or consent. Like all good war junkies, the next course of action was to inspire fear (or attempt to inspire fear) by leaving threatening voice mails containing strange accusations and warnings of physical harm to the artists’ property. Then they illegally changed the locks.

Their next move is to deface and destroy the huge public-arts community gardens and mural. This will, however, be illegal as it is in violation of a ten-year contract made in 2009 because the mural is a registered piece of public art. However, laws protecting the rights of others evidently do not apply in the Great City of Detroit. Or at least they only apply to those without the means to bribe everyone involved.

During the battle to preserve the mural project as it is, the North End Studios team of lawyers (that’s right, team of real-life honest-to-goodness lawyers) has found evidence of tax-evasion, secret agreements, bribes, and general corruption in several city departments in relation to the building at 2937 East Grand Blvd, as well as other buildings owned by Boydell. While there is a huge collection of evidence of numerous wrong-doings, little of that will help keep the mural around.

In case you didn’t know, this is how everything in Detroit happens, and this is another of the countless examples of why Detroit is so fucking dysfunctional. We all are getting fucked (most of us anyway) by the Boydells and Matty Morounns because everyone around here who holds public office are all too crooked or too spineless to do shit about it. How many police chiefs have resigned amidst scandal in the past ten years? Mayors, department heads, contractors – anyone have a count on how many of those city workers are in prison right now? Are we all crazy?

Undeterred by the mountain of bullshit being dumped upon their heads, the North End Studios’ artists have secured a very posh studio on the city’s west side. They will be moving in to this new space on the first of May, and taking over the city through a violent military coup in the near future. You are all invited to help the cool kids keep sticking it to the man, a feat which will be achieved at all North End Studios’ events to come.