New Electric Needle Room Album Causes U.S. Gov’t Shutdown

Amidst concerns over the new Electric Needle Room album, House Republicans and Senate Democrats failed to reach a consensus for a continuing resolution on spending that would allow non-essential governmental operations.

Earlier, the Kansas band had announced a poll to name their latest album. However, after tallying the results the band chose to ignore popular opinion and named the album It’s Getting Personal. Fans had selected the title Magic Is Fake (Sorry).

“I will stay standing here after 14 hours. Standing on your feet, there’s sometimes some pain, sometimes some fatigue that is involved. But you know what? There’s far more pain involved in rolling over … far more pain in hiding in the shadows, far more pain in not standing for principle, not standing for the good, not standing for integrity,” said Texas Republican Ted Cruz.

Approximately 800,000 government workers may face furlough as a result of the band’s decision. Oblivious to the controversy, Electric Needle Room announced a show October 22nd at the Record Bar in Kansas City, MO.

“Look, we saw in Britain, Neville Chamberlain, who told the British people, ‘Accept the Nazis. Yes, they’ll dominate the continent of Europe but that’s not our problem. Let’s appease them. Why? Because it can’t be done. We can’t possibly stand against them.”

It’s Getting Personal has a planned January 2014 release date.

 

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Reginald

Reginald T. Shark received his bachelors at the University of Honolulu. He was the operating theater reporter for the New York Post from 1989 until 1993. His interests include the Selachimorpha Rights Movement,the board game Shark Attack, other things with cartilage, and boxing. He is a regular contributor to the Discovery Channel Shark

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