Have A Killer Weekend

Steven Lane Dwyer, 48, works as a third-shift factory custodian in the metro Detroit area and is the FBI’s primary suspect in the garrotting deaths of thirteen nursing students throughout the Midwest between 2003 and 2007. Dubbed the “Nurse Neck Killer” by the national media, Dwyer also is suspected during the same period in the disappearances of a further half-dozen presumed-dead young women whose remains have never been recovered. Currently free on a technicality pending retrial, he writes a nightlife column, “Have a Killer Weekend,” that appears on MotorCityRocks.com every Thursday.

I don’t know any of you people, or what you want from me specifically, but if I were looking to fill my social calendar with opportunities to be seen in all the right places, here’s where I’d start for the weekend of May 2-5.

THURSDAY, MAY 2
On Thursday, the Magic Stick welcomes the Beach Fossils, who I don’t know the first thing about. The young people I surreptitiously follow on social media, however, seem fairly excited by the prospect of seeing this performance. One of the opening acts is called Twin Peaks, which strikes me as an uncreative band name, since it’s simply the title of a popular early-90s television program. Then again, I do remember that particular program featuring its fair share of young women being murdered, so consider the benefit of the doubt enthusiastically granted! (http://majesticdetroit.com/magic-stick-detroit/)

FRIDAY, MAY 3
The Royal Oak Music Theatre hosts an all ages show by the popular Jesus-affiliated rock band needtobreathe. Since, in the course of my day-to-day activities, I have happened to encounter dozens of people who suffer from a fairly urgent “need to breathe” (if you catch my drift), I will go ahead and give this my recommendation for Friday. (http://www.royaloakmusictheatre.com)
SATURDAY, MAY 4
The popular Metro Times Blowout this year expanded its schedule and has unfolded across two full weekends of scenesters sizing one another up. The proverbial local-band pissing match wraps up Saturday following three days of shows in venues throughout Ferndale (last weekend it was Hamtramck). There will be lots of nubile flesh congregating at venues such as the Loving Touch, New Way, Woodward Avenue Brewers and the Ferndale Public Library. (http://blowout.metrotimes.com/)I would also make note of the Saturday concert at Ford Field featuring young Caucasian woman Taylor Swift except my legal counsel is advising me against it.
SUNDAY, MAY 5
If you know me, you know my affinity for a good vicarious ethnic holiday celebration. Sunday is Cinco de Mayo, and in honor of that, Nancy Whiskey’s in Detroit is again hosting the Cinco de Mayo Veg-Out, which features catered vegetarian tacos from Detroit Gypsy Kitchen and funk and soul tunes spun by local DJs. (https://www.facebook.com/events/166831126812543/) Since I’ve been on a paleo diet since before most of you were probably born, I have little use for this menu particularly, but what do you want from me? No, seriously, what is this publication and why are you bothering me?

 

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dwyer

Steven Lane Dwyer, 48, works as a third-shift factory custodian in the metro Detroit area and is the FBI's primary suspect in the garrotting deaths of thirteen nursing students throughout the Midwest between 2003 and 2007. Dubbed the "Nurse Neck Killer" by the national media, Dwyer also is suspected during the same period in the disappearances of a further half-dozen presumed-dead young women whose remains have never been recovered. Currently free on a technicality pending retrial, he writes a nightlife column, "Have a Killer Weekend," that appears on MotorCityRocks.com every Thursday.

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2 Comments

  1. Steve Barman
    by Steve Barman on May 2, 2013  9:07 pm Reply

    How did we afford to hire that guy to write for us?

  2. Reginald
    by Reginald on May 4, 2013  3:30 pm Reply

    He's cheap...deadly cheap.

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