Morrissey Hospitalized in Michigan

Morrissey, former lead singer of the Smiths and current second coming of Christ, has been hospitalized in William Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, MI. Morrissey’s show scheduled for Jan. 24 in Flint, MI was cancelled and a rep for Morrissey has said, “he is undergoing tests for a suspected bladder infection.” This is Def-Con 4 for Smiths fans who will no doubt be lining Woodward Ave outside the hospital. The candlelight vigil is expected to slow most of the traffic surrounding Royal Oak and will likely be a larger turnout than the Woodward Dream Cruise. Fans are instructed not to kill themselves until more is known.

I am going to try to sneak in to see Morrissey with every skill I’ve learned from the Fletch movies. So if you see a dude with purple hair and O.R. scrubs, please refer to me as “doctor.” I will likely not be able to overpower his guards and may have to resort to going through the window. If you own a cherry-picker or a fire truck, please email me at Steve[at] . Once again. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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Steve Barman

Steve Barman likes pizzas, kittens, bad movies, sexy sexy sex and the occult.

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    by Morrissey on January 28, 2013  2:30 pm Reply

    Steve: Please kindly return the cup of urine. The doctors need to perform some additional tests and I'm already dehydrated.

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