Motor City Rocks

Last weekend, we sent MCR cub reporter Max Daley to cover The Wicked Carnival known as the Insane Clown Posse at The Emerald Theater. Max hits the skins in The Phantom Cats, a band whose music and shows are about as far removed from the juggalo subculture as you can get. Here is the account of Max’s trial by fire:

“What can I expect tonight? This is my first I.C.P. concert.” I asked Cindy and Lexi, both 18 and Juggalettes for 3 years. “A LOT of Faygo EVERYWHERE, hatchets, and WOOT WOOT!!“ They also mentioned something about “fresh victims.” I have no idea what that was even supposed to mean. Sorry, I could not do this completely sober. They were right about the Faygo, though… It was EVERYWHERE, Even before the show. The windows of every storefront and the sidewalk… All sticky with dried soda. With every step I’d stick to the pavement. I had watched them spray as we drove past the police and the massive line. That incredibly long line made us miss the opener: KungFu Vampire. Sweet name. Luckily, YouTube exists and I was able to check him out online. I highly recommend the track “Dead Girls Don’t Say No.” No, I don’t think that is rapey at all, and there is nothing wrong with necrophilia, OK? Also, juggalos are very nice people. Nobody tried to beat me up. In fact, when someone bumps into you, they turn around and apologize. That would never happen at an indie rock show, you SNOBS.

Next Up was the Rap duo Potluck. They were pretty sweet. Hot ass beats. Smooth, quick rhymes. Tiny white dude, GIANT black man.. Just like that imbecilic television show “Rob and Big.” I couldn’t really understand anything they were saying. I did catch a few lines from the chorus of one song. It was about funerals. Dats wussup! When the song was finished, I noticed some face paint running… not sure if was from tears or sweat. They ended their set with a shout out and a “R.I.P.” to MCA, Biggie, and Tupac. A resounding “WOOT WOOT” was heard around the world.
Finally, after two cigarettes and some people watching, the inSANE klownz were about to hit the stage, which was decorated with a table full of 2 liters and some weird gargoyle dogs with glowing eyes. The entire venue was covered in plastic. Literally. Like my childhood mattress. I vaguely remember the crowd chanting “ I C P! I C P!” but it may have been a dream. The beat dropped and they hit the stage with a large crew of crazy dudes. They sprayed Faygo EVERYWHERE. Seriously. 40-50 feet out into the crowd. Like a super soaker or a fireman’s cries. I took cover and watched from the side. Every song was a banger. Hot ass beats laced with witty, skillfully spoken rhymes. The Juggalos loved it. I loved it. It was the most fun I have had at a concert in a while. I was welcomed in with open arms and love. They treated me like family. I am now a Juggalo. WOOT WOOT!

jr

@dashjr I am in the bands The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre, Lo Lo Lo-Hanz, Sheefy Mcfly & The Delorean, and Ferndale Acid Scene. I also head Checker's Records Collective like a boss.

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