Motor City Rocks

Shortly before appointing Reginald and -JR as editors, Steve Barman went on a week long Degrassi bender. After watching 126 straight hours of the Canadian teen soap opera, Steve chose to hire Becky Peterson–the most popular girl at her high school–to write a weekly column on upcoming local shows. Bound by our blind allegiance to Barman we have chosen to honor his appointment. We now present Popular Teen Girl.

so kk I’m totes excited!!!  i got this sweet job AND its summa bitches like the last day of class sarah (used to be my bff now she is a BITCH!!!) was all like ur ugly and then i’m like ur ugly. idk. then i wrote all this shit on her facebook and she flipped. so kk i was like then don’t be a BITCH! but i don’t care anyway and i’m a lucky ducky cuz guess what!?!?!? mahonies are playing at lager house wed night!!! they r like supa-punk, like dead boys type stuff. they have a song where the guy can’t find his wallet. l8r bitches

Where the fuck are my keys? /wallet?

PopularTeenGirl

Becky is the most popular girl at her high school. Since the 8th grade she has maintained a defunct personality that alienates her peers and makes them crave her acceptance. In 2010, she successfully masterminded a Facebook/Twitter post war over "stupid ugly fat bitches that keep giving her shit". Becky writes a weekly column on local shows.

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