Motor City Rocks

Nickelback, undeniably one of the highest-grossing bands of all-time, is finally being told “no” by someone other than the Grammys – Detroit.

Detroit, synonymous with humble beginnings, hard work and kick-ass music, has historically been the target of relentless NFL-related ridicule. This is a city of sport-lovers who were forced to watch their only hero, Barry Sanders, go down with the shipwreck that has been Lions football.

For those who don’t give a shit about football… the last time the Lions won the Super Bowl, it wasn’t called the Super Bowl. That’s all anyone needs to know.

This year the Lions are not being laughed at. In fact, they’re kicking ass. “Megatron” and friends started the 2011 season with an unheard of 5-0 record, the first time since 1956. The Lions’ most recent game, October 30, resulted in an away victory that had people “Tebow-ing” all over the place – Lions 45; Broncos 10.  Start giving a shit because the bandwagon is officially selling seats.

One of the organization’s largest seat-sellers is its annual Thanksgiving Day game (this year on November 24) – usually against someone Lions fans can be happy to lose to (this year Green Bay). Yes, that is what can be heard murmuring sadly in the living room while people are eating turkey, and uncle Marv takes a little nap.

Regardless of the misery Grandpa has come to reasonably expect – Detroiters have agreed that hiring Nickelback to play this year’s Thanksgiving half-time show is unacceptable. It clashes with the team’s newfound spirit… plus Grandpa hates Nickelback. “They’re Canadian!”

As part of the city’s outcry, a petition has been circulating Facebook – particularly in Michigan. The protest titled, “The Detroit Lions: Replace Nickelback as the halftime show for the Thanksgiving game”, hosted by Change.org, currently has more than 44,000 signatures.

The petition description is written from the perspective of an unhappy ticket-holder.

“This game is nationally televised, do we really want the rest of the US to associate Detroit with Nickelback? Detroit is home to so many great musicians and they chose Nickelback?!?!?!”

Dennis Guttman, creator of the petition, does make a good point. Detroit is filled with great music. But whom do we choose?

Eminem doesn’t give a shit about sports, and Kid Rock needs a break. We’re riding him too hard. Wasn’t he just mayor of Detroit for about a week in August?

If Detroit comes up with a suitable solution to this problem, we might have a chance. Removing Nickelback is only half the battle, replacing them will be the ultimate victory. Here are some ideas…

Friday, neo-soul-rocker Mayer Hawthorne (in front of an American-flag backdrop) announced his “candidacy” to play the halftime show, in a video released by Rolling Stone. His newest album, How Do You Do, was released last month, but he has plans to be home for the holidays. Tweeting has ensued – #Mayer4Detroit.

Local Indie-rock duo Dale Earhardt Jr. Jr. made an interesting post on Facebook, saying, “For the record, yes… we would be willing to replace Nickelback on the Thanksgiving Day Halftime show, but we still feel the Robocop Statue is a more important enterprise that we’d rather lend our support to.” They also have reminded us to think positively, saying “at least it’s not Creed.”

Also, local rockers The Muggs have reportedly expressed interest in the topic. Two Facebook pages have been made for them to replace Nickelback (here is the good one).

Join one of these causes and help to overturn this terrible decision. Sorry United Way – your music taste sucks.

Paul Young

Paul likes almost all music, and four of the five Chucky movies. If he were on death row his last meal would consist of a coney with everything, and a plate of chili fries.

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