May 04 Buy Michigan Made Products

With the local economy in the dumps it’s time for all of us to do our part and buy more Michigan made products.  Here are but a few of my personal favorites that I use everyday.

Gerber Baby Food: yes those little puréed bottles of goodness are made right here in Fairmont, Michigan.  If it’s good enough for Detroit’s most famous cyborg police officer Robocob then it’s good enough for your lunch.

Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes: again, if Tony The Tiger is good enough for pot smoking, former Ann Arbor Club Wolverine swimmer Michael Phelps then it’s good enough for your morning breakfast table.

Bells’ Oberon: nine out ten former Upjohn scientist agree, Oberon can enhance your ability to find that somewhat pudge girl at the end of the bar attractive. 

Bisquick or Jiffy: when your Obiron induced one-night-stand turns into a one-night-stand plus breakfast why not make her pancakes. 

Pizza: with Little Caesars, Hungry Howie’s, Jet’s and Domino’s right here in our backyards there’s no reason to order any other kind of pizza right? I mean can you think of a reason?

Milk: this is Michigan’s number one export outside of SUVs and Corporate Chapter 11 filings so go ahead and drink some with your Frosted Flakes or Bisquick made pancakes. 

Lionel Trains: they left their offices in Chesterfield last year so screw them.  Neil Young can suck it!

Faygo Pop: because red pop is not for kids anymore, just Juggalos.

Amway: let’s face it we are all interested in finding out who exactly buys Amway made products, so what better way then to start ordering your NUTRILITE vitamins in bulk. 

Carhartt: real clothes for real hardworking Americans getting laid off from real auto jobs.

Borders: who reads stuff on the Internet anymore anyways – go buy a book?

Warrior Lacrosse: I’m sure former high school lacrosse player Timmy Vulgar (Human Eye, Clone Defects) can attest to this company’s quality.

Better Made Chips: not greasy, just shiny.

Deja Vu: a strip club institution like no other, I send my unemployment benjamins no place else.

Homedics: because you’re gonna need a scale to weigh-in all that pizza, Oberon, pancakes and Frosted Flakes you ingesting.

Powerhouse Gyms: hey if that Homedic’s scale is right then you will need to start frequenting this place often.  Don’t forget to to re-rack your weights.

Hot ‘n Now: heaven on a bun.

Entertainment Book: because everyone needs a four-for-one Hot ‘n Now hamburger coupon for Christmas.

Whirlpool: Keep buying Michigan made fast-food and you two can look like the Maytag repair man (they bought him out two years ago.)

Kowalski Sausage, Koegel Meat: the finest cured meats in all of the land.

La-Z-Boy: the name says it all.

Pioneer Sugar: yum, I love extra sugar on my Frosted Flakes.

HoneyBaked Ham: can you throw some Pioneer Sugar on that glazed spiral sliced ham for me?

Tiara Yachts: all the Wall Street hedge fund managers should take the money they made off our local subprime loans and invest it back into the State’s local economy (it’s the least they could do.)

Valassis: yes that stuff in your mailbox everyday maybe “junk” to you but you really should think about responding to some of their advertisements… come on people there are jobs on the line.

Ziebart: what better way to polish up that old, defunct Pontiac.

Life Savers Candy: they left Holland a few years back so I hope they all choke on a piece of their own hard candy.

Two Men and a Truck: if you lose your auto job and need to get the hell out of dodge what better company to call?

Slinky: though it’s still made in Pennsylvania, Poof Products in Plymouth, Michigan owns their ass.  It’s the best selling toy in America next to Log.